George Nelson | Feb 06 2026 16:00

George Nelson

Facing a child custody matter can feel confusing and stressful, especially when friends, family, or the internet share conflicting opinions. With so much information circulating, it is easy to accept statements that sound convincing but are not accurate. Misunderstandings about how custody decisions are made often add tension to an already emotional situation.

This rewritten version explores five widespread child custody myths and clarifies what is actually true. By understanding how the process really works, you can approach your case with more confidence and focus on making choices that support your child’s well‑being.

Myth #1: Mothers Automatically Receive Custody

A long‑standing belief is that courts almost always award custody to mothers. While this may have been more common decades ago, it is no longer how modern custody cases are approached. Today’s courts evaluate both parents carefully and do not assume one parent is more capable based solely on gender.

Judges now examine several aspects of each parent’s ability to care for the child. This includes who manages daily routines, how strong the emotional connection is between parent and child, the stability of each home environment, and how a parent’s work schedule affects their availability. In many families, fathers share caregiving responsibilities just as equally, and custody decisions often reflect that.

Ultimately, the court’s priority is not whether a parent is a mother or father, but what arrangement will best support the child’s emotional, physical, and developmental needs.

Myth #2: Children Can Choose Which Parent They Want to Live With

Another common assumption is that once a child reaches a certain age, they can decide which parent they live with. While a child’s viewpoint can be considered, it is never the only factor the judge relies on in making a custody determination.

The court may take a child’s preference into account, especially if the child is older or demonstrates maturity. However, judges also look at the reasoning behind the child’s request. A preference based on wanting fewer rules or more freedom is not likely to carry significant weight. In contrast, wanting to stay at the same school or remain near long‑term friends might influence the decision more strongly.

In some cases, a guardian ad litem (GAL) may be appointed to learn about the child’s needs and speak on their behalf. This allows the child’s feelings to be heard without requiring them to directly participate in court. Even with these considerations, the judge must assess the entire situation to determine what arrangement is truly in the child’s best interest.

Myth #3: Joint Custody Means a 50/50 Time Split

The term “joint custody” is often misunderstood. Many people think it means the child will spend equal time with both parents, but joint custody actually refers to how decisions are made, not necessarily how time is divided.

There are two types of custody to understand: legal and physical. Legal custody relates to decisions about education, health care, and other major aspects of the child’s life. Physical custody describes where the child lives. When parents share joint custody, they usually share legal decision‑making, but the parenting time schedule may not be perfectly equal.

Courts consider a variety of elements when establishing a schedule, including school hours, parents’ work commitments, transportation logistics, and how far apart the parents’ homes are. A 50/50 arrangement is not required, and it is not always practical. The goal is to create a plan that promotes consistency, reduces stress for the child, and supports healthy relationships with both parents.

Myth #4: Receiving Full Custody Means Child Support Stops

Many parents assume that full custody eliminates the need for child support, but this is not the case. Custody and child support serve different purposes, and they are handled separately by the court.

Child support exists to ensure that both parents contribute financially to their child’s needs. The court looks at income, childcare expenses, healthcare costs, and other essentials when determining what support should be paid. Even when one parent has full physical custody, the other parent may still be required to help cover the costs of raising the child.

Support is never intended as a reward or punishment. Its purpose is to help maintain the child’s quality of life and provide stability, regardless of which parent has more parenting time.

Myth #5: Visitation Can Be Denied If Child Support Isn’t Paid

This belief can cause significant damage to co‑parenting relationships and, more importantly, to the child. Even if child support payments are late or unpaid, visitation rights cannot legally be withheld.

The court treats custody, visitation, and child support as separate matters. If a parent falls behind on payments, the appropriate response is to seek help from the court rather than blocking their scheduled time with the child. Courts may take steps such as wage garnishment or assessing penalties to address unpaid support, but they do not want children to lose access to a parent because of financial issues.

Denying visitation can actually harm the parent who attempts it, as it may be viewed as violating a court order. The safest and most responsible approach is to follow the existing custody arrangement and use legal channels to resolve any payment concerns.

Need Guidance on a Custody Issue?

If you are considering changes to your custody agreement or feel your current plan is no longer working, talking with someone who understands family law can make a significant difference. You do not have to work through these decisions alone.

Reach out to discuss your next steps. Support is available to help you navigate the process and find a solution that works for both you and your child.